“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” There aren’t many quotes that fully encapsulate relationships in so few words like F. Scott Fitzgerald’s here. And if you’ve heard of Fitzgerald’s famously schizophrenic wife, or read any of his works (many of which end in death or crumbling marriages), it’s not hard to see he’s a man who draws from personal experience.
Never the same love twice, says Fitzgerald, and thank goodness for that! Show of hands if you want to live through love that you’ve lived through before? Anyone? No? That’s what I thought. Love is messy and often leaves us pained and damaged. So is love the problem? Should we all just cultivate some sort of Zen monk-like lifestyle of loneliness? Love is a 6’3, Muhammad Ali sized fighter who lures us into the ring and gives us a good solid thumping. And yet we return. Why! Put simply, we might be a tiny, featherweight class fighter, but we have something inside of us that makes us believe we can conquer: Hope.
So are we doomed to fight in this ring for all eternity, like some sort of Sisyphus Greek tragedy? (don’t know who that is? Look it up people, this is what we have google for!) No, we’re not. Because love isn’t the problem. Love, when working properly, can be one of the most nourishing, enriching parts of our life. And we’re not just talking romantic love here. Every relationship, be it with family, friends, or yourself, is fundamentally built upon a foundation of love. It’s when love becomes toxic, non-communicative, or selfish that problems begin to form.
So love isn’t the issue. Great! Now how do we find the right kind of love? How do we begin to love ourselves? How do we cultivate more love in our family? A relationship coach can help.
Getting an outside perspective on our relationships is something we’ve been doing since the beginning of time. Every time you call a friend and say, “he did this! What do I do?” you are inviting a third party into that relationship and seeking guidance. Why not consider a person who is actually trained to offer said advice? Ray of Solace relationship coaching can help you navigate any relationship in your life. Their specific programs include: helping you deal with heartbreak, navigating your business relationships, or dealing with the aftermath of a relationship with a highly narcissistic person. They even have specific sessions for men called “Navigating the Female Mind.”
Whatever your issue is, it’s time to stop blaming love and start looking for the underlying causes. Your different type of love could be out there. Make sure you’re ready for it.